Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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