I got chris browned last night
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
