The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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