I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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