we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize