She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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