Having a random hookup so left but love u
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
