my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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