so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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