oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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