you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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