you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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