She's JV to your varsity
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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