Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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