Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
