do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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