the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
