I'm eating all of the evidence.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize