im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
last night I used snow as a chaser
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
