the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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