someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
