? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
