What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
