doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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