We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
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That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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