Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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