What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
