Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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