she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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