why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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