You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
