At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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