If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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