Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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