So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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