No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
