I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
