You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize