i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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