hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
