Non-Jews are for practice
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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