How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
