Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
