I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
