Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
