I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
