I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
