i just google imaged poop.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
