We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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