you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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