Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
