thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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