I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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