i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
