he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize