I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
