I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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