maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
