I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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